The Growth Lesson I Learned in Scotland
I went to Scotland a few weeks ago, spending time in Edinburgh and St. Andrews - one of my mother's favorite places in the world.
In St. Andrews, we toured a Scotch whisky distillery to sample what the Scots affectionately call the country's "mother's milk." I'm a bourbon fan, but when in Scotland...
I learned about barrel aging and the Angel's Share - the portion of whisky that evaporates each year as it matures - more on that in a future post, but what intrigued me is what happens before the whisky ever reaches the bottle.
The distiller explained that every batch is divided into three parts.
The heads. The hearts. And the tails.
The heads come first. They're too harsh. Too volatile. Even deadly. They're separated and discarded.
The hearts come next. Not quite whiskey. They're the part of the distilled spirit that is chosen to become whiskey through aging in the barrel. This is the sweet spot. The smoothest, most valuable part.
The tails come last. They're heavier, less refined, bitter, and taste awful, yet still worthy. They're saved and re-distilled in a future batch.
A Scotch Whiskey Life Lesson: Growth isn't about holding onto everything. It's about learning what to let go of, what to keep, and what to repurpose.
This past weekend I went to the National Speakers Association's Influence Conference in Austin, TX. I was a freshman, a first-timer filled with nerves, doubt, and excitement. Networking would play a big role because speakers refer speakers.
Some people believe networking is adding more people. I believe in being more thoughtful.
Some relationships are the heads.
They drain your energy. They're purely transactional. Every interaction leaves you feeling less than instead of stronger. Not every connection deserves a permanent place in your life.
Then there are the hearts.
The people who challenge you, encourage you, introduce you to others, celebrate your wins, and tell you the truth when you need to hear it.
Just before a workshop where I knew I'd be photographed, a woman in my speakers community who I had just met noticed a button coming loose on my new dress. I'd already been questioning whether it was the right choice. She kindly said, "You might want to change." I did - and spent the rest of the day feeling confident instead of self-conscious. She cared and shared.
These are the relationships that shape your future. Invest in them. Give more to them than they give you. Heartful networking is like a boomerang that you put out, not knowing when or where it will come back, but trusting that it will.
Lastly, there are the tails.
Relationships that served a meaningful purpose in one season but no longer fit the direction you're headed. That doesn't make them bad. They become wisdom. They become perspective. They remind you what mattered then - and what matters now. They may come back in another season. Letting go makes space to let in.
My vacation gave me time to think. Every season of growth asks the same three questions:
What do I need to let go of?
What deserves deeper investment?
What can I carry forward in a different way?
Whether you're building a business, leading a team, or simply becoming the next version of yourself, growth isn't about doing more or accumulating more.
It's about making better choices about what stays.
Maybe that's why exceptional whisky - and exceptional lives - both take time.
Neither is defined by everything that comes in.
They're defined by what is intentionally kept.
