Pick Me Energy
Last week, I played in a paddle tennis tournament.
For a few games on that court, I felt something I can only describe as abundance.
The ball met my racquet exactly where I expected it to.
I sensed where the return was coming from before it arrived.
I wasn’t forcing shots — I was placing them.
I was in flow.
It felt light.
Fluid.
Spacious.
Full — but not heavy.
Focused — but not forced.
Effortful — but without resistance.
That, to me, is abundance.
I also know all too well the opposite feeling.
Early in my business, when I wanted to land a new client, I had pick me energy.
Pick me.
Choose me.
Approve of me.
See my value.
It looks like ambition.
But it’s fueled by lack.
'I need this. I need more clients. I need this for success.'
You can feel the difference.
Pick me energy contracts.
It presses.
It over-explains.
It subtly says, “I hope I’m enough.”
Abundance energy expands.
It offers.
It trusts.
Same effort.
Very different identity.
When I ask high achievers what they want most, the answer is almost always the same:
Freedom.
But freedom — like abundance — isn’t something you chase.
It’s something you generate.
You cannot expand into what you have not imagined.
Said another way, you cannot become what you don't see, feel, imagine.
Intention is future-directed energy.
It tells your nervous system what to look for.
If scarcity has been rehearsed for years, it feels normal.
Comparison feels normal.
Tightness feels normal.
Abundance must be practiced until it feels just as familiar.
Scarcity is learned.
Through subtle fear.
Through misalignment between what we truly need and what we think we should want.
Abundance is intentional.
It is present.
It is grateful.
It notices what is already working — and expands it.
My son Teddy and brother John on the paddle court
My son Teddy and brother John on the paddle court.
This week, ask yourself:
Where am I playing tight?
Where am I carrying pick me energy?
Where am I trying to prove instead of place?
What would it look like to move with more ease?
And here’s another question worth asking:
Am I burned out —
or simply overextended and in need of a deliberate pause?
There’s a difference.
Drive is a gift.
But unexamined drive can quietly tip into depletion.
If you’re unsure where you are right now, I want to share a thoughtful resource created by a coach I deeply respect.
Psychotherapist Justine Carino, LMHC created the Balanced Boss Burnout Assessment — a simple, insightful diagnostic designed to help high-achieving leaders understand where they fall on the spectrum between thriving and overwhelmed.
It takes just a few minutes.
And the clarity can be powerful.
You can take it here:
Awareness is the first move toward abundance.
Then you choose your next step.
Set an intention.
Not for someday.
For now.
Because abundance isn’t waiting for you on the other side of the next milestone.
It’s standing with you on the court today.
