Perfectly Miserable

Updated: Nov 23

I achieved C-Suite status after many years of hard work and a need to succeed. I thought the higher up the ladder, and with the earned experience, that the work would get easier, and I’d be living into my purpose. Easier to get things done, lead others and it wouldn’t feel so hard ALL OF THE DAMN TIME. I looked happy, put together, and in love with life when inside I wanted something different. What was missing? Why was it all so hard? On paper, I was perfect when I was perfectly miserable. My inner me didn't match my outer me. The daily hamster wheel had become my default. The excuse for not dealing with how and what I was feeling. I thought if I worked harder things would come together. As we enter the season of THANKS and close out the year, I’m going to be writing over the next several weeks about how to be open to new thinking to find greater clarity around what you want and ultimately more joy for yourself. Thinking the same way produces the same results. Same annual resolutions. Same results. Same frustrations. Same results. What if this coming New Year you changed your thoughts in pursuit of new results? Awareness is where it starts. Minds can only shift when you first become aware. When I decided I’d had enough, I slowed down and did the work to uncover what was keeping me from where I wanted to be. I started with my thoughts, and oh boy, there were a lot of them. Most of them negative, dismissive, diminishing. Thoughts around what if, why not, what’s possible were non-existent. To imagine what was possible, I started by looking back. Looking in the rearview mirror to self-reflect was energizing. Coming out, I've risen with confidence, clarity, and declared a bold vision for my future. Do I have it all together? Not even close! Someone just this week commented on my cool and calm demeanor. If she could be a fly on the wall inside my head, she would see that I’m a work in progress. Here’s the thing. I am a work in progress. Now I work each day toward my purpose. I stumble, fall and take a lot of tiny steps each week some forward and some backward, but, they are intentional and toward possibility. There are weeks where it feels like I’m not moving fast enough. But those weeks are filled with more joy now. As you prepare for a joyful Thanksgiving, start by acknowledging all you’ve created. You might hate giving yourself credit. That thinking is the same thinking with the same results. Instead, pay close attention to what has worked for you. Wins both big and small. Write them down with specificity. Make a list: 10 amazing things that happened this year. 10 big surprises around how you've handled these past two years. 10 moments of joy …. this month, this year, in your life. 10 experiences you would do again given the chance. 10 things you learned this year. 10 opportunities you created. 10 things you are grateful for. With your list, look for the red thread of thought in them. What is the story of your 10s? With that story, you begin the process of writing your next chapter. Stay tuned. I have a lot more planned for you.

One last thing...when things were at their hardest, I procrastinated. What you procrastinate is what you need to prioritize. Read more HERE.


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