When Success Isn’t Safe Anymore

I regularly ask high-achieving women: What is your definition of personal success?

What I hear more often than not: "That's a good question!"

How often do we pause to reflect: What would success look like if it were designed around my values and more of what I want, not just my fears and obligations?

For years, I was the poster child for powering through – launching media brands, managing difficult clients, forecasting through market pressures, and fighting the never-ending battle with email.

Life didn't reflect how much I wanted to feel fulfilled and purposeful—it reflected how deeply I believed I wasn't safe without constant effort.

Here's what I mean:

I had built an identity around productivity and achievement because somewhere along the way, I internalized the belief that my safety came from a constant state of doing.

Every new brand launch, difficult client managed, crisis navigated—these weren't accomplishments; they were safeguards against the unspoken fear that everything would disappear the moment I stopped all of the doing.

What would people think...

...if I did less

...said no to traveling to Cannes for work the day after my wedding

...let one of the 5 other people on the email respond?

The underlying thought: l'll lose my job. I'll lose it all.

Every success raised the bar for what I needed to do next to feel "safe."

My busy, my striving to make sales MVP and blow past annual numbers, were driven by an immense fear that if I didn't keep up, everything would come crashing down.

That's catastrophizing.

All or nothing thinking. Black or white.

Success OR complete scorched earth failure. Nothing in between.

My worth had become so tied to what I produced that slowing down would be a colossal failure.

My mind still struggles with the lies it tells me to keep me 'safe':

"You're always behind, Christina."

"You have to work harder to succeed."

"It doesn't count if it's easy."

I've come to realize that this version of "safety" is beyond unsafe—it's a long-term muscle I built that I wish were focused on building body strength, not the muscle of perpetual anxiety.

The irony? This pursuit of safety through achievement was destroying the very sense of security I was desperately trying to create.

My body, relationships, and inner peace were all sacrificed on the altar of productivity.

True safety doesn't come from external validation or accomplishment—it comes from knowing your worth beyond the doing or your daily output.

It comes from trusting yourself to handle whatever comes.

Trusting that slowing down will give you the energy to power up.

Believing that long-term success is created from a deep knowing of your where you bring the most impact.

You don’t need to be in overdrive to be impactful.
You don’t need to suffer to be significant.

What if the doing has only allowed you to access a fraction of your potential?

Today, slow down to think and fill in your values, hopes, and dreams:

“Personal success, to me, is a life where I feel __________, surrounded by ______, making space for _______, and showing up as ________.”

Consider the effect of showing up calm, grounded, clear, powerful—these are huge multipliers for anything you set out to do.

Let your value be defined not by your output, but by your presence.

Because when you start leading from who you are, not just what you do, success no longer feels like a finish line you’re chasing—it becomes the foundation you’re standing on.

Slowing down to see more clearly; taken right after a hailstorm in Santa Fe, NM

I want to create more of these moments to power up instead of powering through

There is no magic bullet—change doesn't happen overnight. Develop a daily check-in practice.

Make a commitment. No more breaking promises to yourself.

The future you want is waiting.