Stop Playing Every Hand
On the rainy Memorial Day weekend, my husband and I visited a casino. I hadn't played blackjack in years.
A few good hands in, and you feel like you're on a streak. The cards are landing. Confidence rises. You start thinking you've 'got this.'
A few hands later, the table humbles you. Bad cards, wishing I hadn't made that bet. But emotions quietly whisper, "Just one more hand, Christina."
You can't force a winning hand at the blackjack table or in life.
Winning has less to do with luck than most people think.
The people who play well know the playbook.
They understand probability.
They know when the odds are in their favor, and when they are not.
Most importantly, they do not let emotion drive their decisions.
Winning has more to do with knowing where your impact lies. The Pareto Principle: 20% of effort drives 80% of your results.
So I moved to the Texas Hold 'Em table. With a quick ChatGPT query, I learned that the most successful players of Texas Hold 'Em fold 80% of the time.
They don't act out of emotion, but are led by patience towards probability.
Eighty percent of the time. For someone who is not at all patient, that’s tough. It feels impossible to sit at the table folding 8 out of 10 hands. Your brain tells you you have to get to winning. At least I know mine does!
Great players understand something many of us forget in work and life:
Winning is not about playing every hand. It is about knowing when the odds are worth your energy.
I see so many high achievers—especially women—doing the opposite.
You stay loyal to weak hands. A role you've outgrown. Meetings that produce very little. Strategies that are no longer working.
You keep trying to force outcomes where the odds are no longer in your favor. And hesitate to bet bigger where there is real possibility.
Games and life are won on offense, not defense. Yet so many of us spend our days playing defense without even realizing it. Many high achievers don't realize they're playing defense because survival mode can feel remarkably productive.
You wake up and open your inbox before your mind is fully online. Jump from one virtual meeting to the next. By the end of the day, you've worked hard, felt productive, and somehow moved very little of what matters most forward.
We've gotten attached to the quantity of work rather than its quality. And when we do, we are defending.
Defense reacts. Offense creates.
Offense asks:
-Where are the odds quietly in my favor?
-What deserves more of my energy?
-What is producing outsized results?
-What weak hand am I trying too hard to save?
Sometimes wisdom looks like folding. Folding not out of resignation, but out of probability — and a commitment to the outcome that actually matters.
The goal is not to do more. The goal is to play smarter. The fastest way to get there is to pause to reflect on what you really want.
To increase your probability of success, the first move is to pause to ask what you really want and what would have to happen to get it. From there, what one decision would have an outsized impact?
As you look at the week ahead, consider:
Where am I playing defense?
What needs to be folded?
Where are the odds already quietly in my favor?
What deserves a bigger bet from me?
Wonder Woman Slot Machine - A Reminder That The Power is Inside Us
The best players don't win by playing every hand. They win by knowing exactly which one is worth everything.
This week — that hand is yours.
P.S. If today's questions stirred something, take The Future-Self Assessment helps you get clear on exactly where you're playing defense in your life and career — and where your biggest bet should be.
Sunday Sunshine readers get something no one else does — a 20-minute session with me to walk through your results together. Your roadmap. Your next move. Let's make it count.
