Confidence is Not Required
I was never the ‘best’.
Not the best marketer.
Not the best salesperson.
Not the best manager, Publisher, or Chief Revenue Officer.
I used to say that apologetically. Out loud to my bosses.
I don’t anymore.
I finally learned that the relationship I had with myself was shaping every other relationship in my life.
I stopped apologizing for being too direct.
For pushing for the 9th revision.
For wanting to go above and beyond when others thought good was good enough.
I know I bugged people. I was probably a real pain in the ass.
For years, I felt bad about it. Wish I were ‘better’ or more like them.
But when I stopped apologizing—and started understanding myself for how I show up—things changed.
I stopped hiding from my imperfections and my edges. I started using them.
I decided to take full ownership of myself because I am the CEO of Me.
Fast Company called it the CEO of Me, Inc.
Jeff Bezos called it your personal brand.
I call it the only competitive advantage that doesn’t expire.
Most people skip the actual investment in knowing themselves. Or re-knowing yourself after years of achievement and output, where the default setting is busy and your connection to yourself gets cloudy.
Knowing yourself is taking inventory of what’s undeniable, what’s underdeveloped, and what you want to be known for. Then acting from it. Daily.
That’s the real leadership work. Not strategy. Not execution.
It’s self-awareness.
When you don’t know your inventory, pressure takes over. When you do, it amplifies you.
I remember at a Fast Company dinner we hosted with the Editor and notable CMOs. One of the guests was a CMO I’d followed for years. He’d run marketing for two of the most iconic consumer brands in the world.
He was there to get in front of my editor. I was there to get his advertising dollars.
A magazine cover was his goal. As the head of sales, I was not the goal.
I’d done my homework.
When we were introduced, I told him his brand’s latest Super Bowl commercial had deeply moved me. That it told a real story where emotion jumped from the screen, and I meant it. Then I asked whether any other CMO could claim a Super Bowl spot for two different brands in the same year.
“You’ve done your research,” he said.
He’d actually overseen three that year—including one he’d developed over a decade earlier, finally aired during the Super Bowl that year after he’d left that company. I didn’t know it until he told me.
Before he moved on to find the editor, I shared one more thing.
A thought about a sequel to the commercial. I asked him if he’d considered writing the next chapter in the story and shared my concept for it. I wanted to not just compliment but be additive to the conversation.
He turned and looked at me. I wasn’t his priority when walking in. But for that moment. I had his attention.
And that changed the conversation.
I knew my CEO of Me in that moment—genuine curiosity, preparation, and the willingness to say what I actually thought, not knowing if it would land or if I was 'right' or it was the 'best' idea. I didn’t wait to feel confident. I knew what mattered.
Most people don't take the time to define their CEO of Me, and and then live from it—consistently.
Bringing it intentionally into every room, every conversation, every email.
Do both—and that’s where influence compounds.
Here’s the question for the week:
What do people feel after an interaction with you?
What do they remember?
What do they tell someone else later?
That's your brand. Whether you’ve defined it or not, it exists.
Are you still waiting for confidence instead of leading from who you already are?
